Don Fried — Playwright & Author

Name your superpower

Posted on: December 27, 2008

A couple of days ago Rhonda and I rented two superhero movies — “Iron Man” and “Hancock.”  It got us to thinking about what superpowers we would choose.

At first Rhonda said she’d always wanted to be able fly.  But then she saw a movie actress who had recently starred in a superhero movie being interviewed on TV.  That actress was asked the same question and she said that her choice would be to be able to eat as much as she wanted without gaining weight.  Rhonda immediately changed her mind.  She now wants to be “Consequence-Free Gluttony Woman.  After all, she says, how much time would she spend flying.

I’ve thought about it for a few minutes  (very few), and here are some ideas of the superhero I’d like to be.

1.  Able-To-Sleep-All-Night-Without-Getting-Up-To-Pee Man: self-explanatory.

2.  Loud-Music-Revenge Man: able to cause boom boxes, car stereos, restaurant and store radio CD players and radios which play loud, obnoxious music to be inserted into the anal cavities of the people who play them.

3.  Comeback Man:  able to think up clever comebacks at the time they are required, and not hours, days, or weeks later.

4.  Genitalia-Enlarging-Spam-Reversal Man:  causes the genitalia of people who send out spam offers to enlarge my  genitalia to shrink with each spam shot they send.

5.  Lawyer-Destructo Man: needs no explanation or justification.

You get the idea.

Let me know ideas for superpowers you’d like to have.

1 Response to "Name your superpower"

ROFL – Im with Rhonda…. wohoooo

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